Our Latest Episodes
Episode 63: Color in the Queer Community (with Melantha Hodge)
As Pride Month comes to an end, we chat with our friend Melantha Hodge about working in the music industry as a gay woman of color. How has it affected the way she's been treated by men in the business? Why do certain cultures react differently to members of the gay community? We also debate whether or not the LGBTQ flag should also represent race, and help a listener who doesn't feel the need to come out about her sexuality. Society's constant need for labels can pressure you to publicize parts of yourself, even if that's out of your comfort zone. Whether you announce this personal information, or keep it private, how will you ultimately stick to your own decisions?
P.S. Thank you Vanity Planet! Go to vanityplanet.com/ladieswholunchvibe and get 50% off your first order with the code LWLvibe
Episode 62: Taking Pride in Your Bisexuality (with Alayna Fender)
This week, our friend Alayna Fender shares her personal story of being bisexual. What are the ways we define bisexuality? Why does the LGBTQ community scrutinize people who are bisexual? We also explore the negative stereotypes surrounding this identity, and help a listener who fears that she'll be deemed "not queer enough" for having a boyfriend. Although it's common to feel these insecurities, just know that you are always worthy of your sexual identity. How will you own up to it and celebrate who you truly are?
P.S. Thanks to Jet for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Get 20% off your first 2 orders over $35 at Jet.com by using the promo code LWL at check out.
P.P.S. Thanks to LOLA for supporting this podcast! To get 60% of your first order, visit mylola.com and enter LWL when you subscribe.
Episode 61: Being a Gay Woman (with Cammie Scott and Alexis G. Zall)
We start our LGBTQ+ month with special guests Cammie Scott and Alexis G. Zall to talk about all things lesbian. Is there more pressure to look or behave a certain way after coming out? How can you deal with people who don't believe that you're gay? We also debate our feelings on the term "lesbian," investigate the stereotype that gay women hate men, and help a listener who is struggling with internal homophobia and compulsory heterosexuality. We all tend to label ourselves and consequently stress about people's opinions on our sexual identities. But how will you dump that mentality, embrace your sexual fluidity, and explore your true self?
P.S. Thank you Pet Parcel for supporting our podcast! Go to petparcel.net and get 10% off your first order with the code LWL10.
P.P.S. Thanks to Wag! Sign up at wagwalking.com and you’ll get your first walk FREE
Episode 60: Reflecting on Mental Health Month
As May comes to an end, we review our conversations focused on mental health. What were the biggest surprises we learned? Did we change our opinions about "13 Reasons Why"? We also share a listener's new journey with antidepressants after moving to a foreign country, and read a letter about dealing with a bipolar relative whose behavior has taken a complete 180 for the worse. Mental illness doesn't discriminate, and it affects more people than you might think. The pain and shame is often swept under the rug - but just by starting a dialogue around it, we can support those in need of healing.
P.S. Thanks to Audible! Listen to Audible’s new original series Where Should We Begin? Details at audible.com/esther. Audible and Amazon Prime members listen free.
P.P.S. Thank you ShopSpring! Get 20% off your first purchase with code LWL at checkout.
Episode 59: The "13 Reasons Why" Controversy
This week, we share our "13 Reasons Why" debate from Playlist Live with special guests Kati Morton and Lisa Filipelli. Where did the show succeed, but also fail? Was the graphic visual of Hannah Baker's suicide just a ploy to get attention? We also explain why we're frustrated with the depiction of mental health treatment and school counselors, why this show panders to vulnerable teens, and where to get help if you're struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts. There are resources and people that will help you, so stay strong and know that there is hope. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem - but much better solutions are out there too.
P.S. Thanks to Audible for supporting our podcast! Listen to Audible’s new original series: Where Should We Begin? Details at audible.com/esther. Audible and Amazon Prime members listen free.
P.P.S. Thank you Pet Parcel! Go to petparcel.net and get 10% off your first order with the code LWL10.
Episode 58: Overcome Your Eating Disorder
To continue Mental Health Awareness Month, Kati Morton is back to help us address the biggest questions on eating disorders. What causes people to have anorexia, binge eating, or bulimia? How can you get treatment for your ED? How can you support someone who is in the recovery process? We also discuss the dangers of going into starvation mode, how we can use positive language about our bodies, how to tell your parents that you have an eating disorder, and how to fight through the anxiety of eating out. The ED voice can be loud, but change is possible if you take the steps to beat it. How will you start switching your inner dialogue about food and repair the relationship with your body?
P.S. We love ShopSpring for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Get 20% off your first purchase with code LWL at checkout.
P.P.S. Also thanks to Wag! for supporting our podcast. Download Wag! on iTunes or Google Play and sign up to get your first walk FREE
Episode 57: What Is OCD?
This week, licensed therapist and professional mental health expert Kati Morton helps us answer your questions about obsessive compulsive disorder. What are the symptoms of OCD? How can you treat it? Is self-diagnosing reliable? We also dive into your letters about overcoming the stigma around mental health, differentiating intrusive thoughts vs. homosexual thoughts, and telling your therapist that their methods aren't working. Taking care of yourself is your number one priority, so get the help that fits you best. It's going to be a challenge to sit with the discomfort, but you can also sit with the comfort of knowing that it will get better.
P.S. Thank you LeTote for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Go to LeTote.com and use promo code LWL to get 50% off your first month.
Episode 56: Trying Out Therapy
In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, we take an exploration through therapy. What should you expect from a therapist? Why do people go to therapy? Do you always have to talk about your deep emotional issues? We also compare different types of therapy, psychologists vs. psychiatrists, and the ways we interact with our own therapists. Meeting with a mental health professional can be like dating - it's a little awkward at first, and it might take a few tries before you discover a type who fits your needs. But once you find the right therapist, you'll soon learn that the search is totally worthwhile.
P.S. Thanks to Jet for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Get $10 off your first 3 orders over $35 at jet.com by using the promo code LWL at check out.
Episode 55: Forgiving Your Parents
Our journey through reconciliation finishes up with the difficulties of forgiving our parents. How can you move past the inevitable pain that enters this relationship? If you forgive them, are you condoning their behavior? We also help a listener who resents her mother for creating an unstable childhood, and answer a letter about receiving an apology - but still feeling unheard. Parents aren't perfect, and they're going to affect us whether we like it or not. How will you leave the wounded child behind, make room for compassion, and take responsibility for your future with or without them?
P.S. Thank you ShopSpring for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Get 20% off your first purchase with code LWL at checkout.
Episode 54: When Women Say "I'm Sorry"
Apologizing is an important step towards reconciliation, but sometimes we say "sorry" too much. Why do women typically apologize more than men? Can you still be a feminist and use these undermining words? How can you be more aware of them in your everyday speech? We also investigate the issues of assuming girls are "more difficult," the dilemma of policing how women speak, and a letter from a listener who wants to stop over-apologizing at work. Language is one of the essential ways we express ourselves, and ultimately your vocabulary is your choice. How will your use of words make you feel you proud and confident about who you are?
P.S. Thank you LeTote for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Go to LeTote.com and use promo code LWL to get 50% off your first month.
Episode 53: Releasing Resentment Towards Ourselves
Our reconciliation theme continues with forgiveness towards ourselves and our past. How do you transition from bitterness towards compassion? Can you take too much responsibility for painful events in your life? As adults, how can we help younger generations recognize when they aren't accountable for difficult times? We also discuss a listener's guilt for unintentionally hurting her ex, another listener's choice to not reconcile with her absent father, and a letter from a victim who hates how her past self reacted to a traumatic event. Although you should allow yourself to feel anger and frustration for the dark memories, you can't let them haunt you for the rest of your life. How will you free yourself from this shadow and instead, start celebrating your successes?
P.S. Thank you thredUP for supporting our podcast! Go to thredUP.com/LWL and enter promo code LWL to get an extra 40% off your first order.
Episode 52: Reconciling With An Ex
To start this month's theme of reconciliation, we dive into the process of amending past romantic relationships. How do you know if you should let an ex re-enter your life? What red flags indicate that getting back together is a bad idea? We also debate the ways we show forgiveness, and read three letters about reconciling with past partners - all which end in very different ways. You're entitled to the feelings of pain and bitterness from a breakup, but replaying the past can prevent you from moving forward. What will you do to stop harboring those emotions and start living in the present?
P.S. Thanks to ShopSpring for their support of Ladies Who Lunch! Get 20% off your first purchase with code LWL at checkout.
Episode 51: A Wrap Up on Honesty
Now that we've thoroughly explored this month's theme of honesty, we wrap it up by sharing your responses and experiences with this incredibly complex topic. When should someone seek professional help for their compulsion to lie? How do you come clean about your past false claims? We also read a listener's story about the consequences of over sharing, and reflect on the biggest takeaways we learned from this month's discussions with each other and of course - all of you.
P.S. Thanks to LeTote for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Go to LeTote.com and use promo code LWL to get 50% off your first month.
Episode 50: When Silence Becomes Lying
We wrap up our honesty series with the murky grey topic of lying by omission. Is a white lie just as bad as a straight out lie? When is it okay not to share all the information? Should you tell your partner about harmless flirting and all your exes? We also read a letter about the consequences of hiding your past from your kids, and help another listener who fears that being honest will ruin a relationship that has already survived so much. You might think that withholding details from someone will protect them from the harsh pain of the truth. But if staying silent will save your own neck, that's when you should reevaluate - whose self-interest are you really serving?
P.S. Thanks to ShopSpring for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Download the Spring app in the App Store and use code LWL for 20% off your first purchase.
Episode 49: Being Honest with Yourself
Our journey through honesty travels into the difficulties of being truthful with ourselves. How can you be more aware of your shortcomings? Are you necessarily a bad person for lying about who you are? Should we always strive for self-improvement, or is there a point when we should just accept our faults? We also determine why we lie to ourselves, explore the fear of judgment for revealing our raw identity, and help a listener who is finally comfortable with her sexuality - but now she has to be dishonest with everyone else. You can work on your imperfections, or let them box you in. Ultimately it's in your control. How will you acknowledge your flaws and break through the labels that you've stuck on yourself?
P.S. Big thanks to thredUP for supporting our podcast! Go to thredUP.com/LWL and enter promo code LWL to get an extra 40% off your first order.
Episode 48: The Bitter Feeling of Being Betrayed
To continue this month's theme of honesty, we travel through the frustrating process of being betrayed. How do you overcome trust issues after a friend or partner has lied to you? Why do we gaslight other people? We also share a letter from a victim who can't hold a grudge against his betrayers, and help another listener whose boyfriend became far from the man she once loved. We're often deceived by those we love most, which makes the experience so painful to bear. But their redemption is not your responsibility. How will you move past their cloud of deception and recreate your own reality?
Episode 47: When Fake News Becomes a Real Problem
We launch our new, month-long honesty series by sifting through the issue of fake news. How do you know which news stories and sources are trustworthy? Should social media sites be responsible for news accuracy and neutrality? How can you avoid getting trapped in your own echo chamber? We also discuss the dangers of Trump's war with the press, the appeal of click bait titles, and a letter from a listener who is a minority, a feminist, and a Trump supporter - but hasn't felt discrimination until the media and liberals started outcasting conservatives. Although it takes a lot of effort to read and research accurate stories, we need to support the outlets that take the time to really investigate the truth. If their voices are silenced, how will we ever know what is fact or fiction?
P.S. Thank you ThredUp for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Go to thredUP.com/LWL and enter promo code LWL to get an extra 40% off your first order.
Episode 46: Dealing with Depression
This week, we sink into the isolating, yet common experience of depression. What causes depression? What are the symptoms? Why are women more likely than men to suffer from this mental disorder? We also share Cat's journey with antidepressants, different ways to treat depression, and a listener letter about helping a loved one who won't take the initiative to get better. These negative emotions can be completely random, or born out of crisis - but either way, you're not alone in this battle. How will you get back on your feet and stop depression from consuming who you are?
P.S. Thanks to Audible for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Get a free audiobook with a free 30 day trial at Audible.com/lwl.
Episode 45: Embracing Insecurities
This week, we dive into the universal experience of feeling insecure. How can you break the cycle of self-hatred and accept yourself? Can your poor self-esteem ruin a relationship? How can you stop comparing your life to what you see on social media? We also explore insecurities between women and men, discuss ways to deal with high school and workplace bullies, and help a listener who fears she'll stay single forever if she can't change her negative inner dialogue. No one is perfect, but you can't constantly beat yourself up for your flaws. How will you start the stream of positive thinking and finally love who you are?
Episode 44: Can Guys and Girls Be Just Friends
The platonic friendship is a subject of much debate - and this week, we attempt to find the answer. Can men and women really have a close, but non-romantic relationship? Should you talk to your "just friend" about the sexual attraction and sexual tension? Why do most guys seek these friendships, and what makes them stay in it? We also discuss what this friendship looks like in the LGBTQ+ community and the YouTube community, how to respond to the doubters, and how to deal with jealous partners. Just because someone has certain genitalia, it doesn't always mean that they're interested in something more. Will you open up the door of friendship and welcome them in?
Episode 43: When to Let Go of Your Dreams
This week, we determine when it's time to set aside your dreams. How do you move on after you say goodbye to your aspirations? Why is failure and rejection good for us? How do you find out what really fulfills you? We also compare self-confidence vs. entitlement, explain why we should approach goals with a healthy dose of pessimism, and help a listener who thinks perseverance is taking her nowhere. Although we should all have dreams, the harsh truth of reality is that we can't always get what we want. But sometimes when you let go, you find an even better option that provides you with a meaningful life.
Episode 42: Seeking Social Acceptance
In this week's episode, we cope with the feeling of not being accepted by your friends and family. How do you climb out of the pit of self-hatred? How has the internet affected our self-acceptance? We also determine when the need for approval becomes unhealthy, why a comment about Miley Cyrus sparked an argument between Cat and her mom, and whether you can change someone whose values don't align with your identity. Sometimes we don't make the most popular decision, and it steers us away from the easier path. But in the end, what is right for you - living an admiral life that doesn't reflect your authentic self, or living your truth?
Episode 41: Birth Control Choices
This week, we lay out some popular birth control methods that could work for you. Which form of birth control is the most reliable? How do you maximize the effectiveness? Why else would you want to use birth control, other than to avoid pregnancy? We also explain why we're both anti pill, why older women were skeptical of Cat's IUD, and what side effects we dread the most. The range of options can be intimidating, and it takes some experimentation (with the possibility of physical pain). But remember - it's always better to be safe than sorry.
Episode 40: The Quarter-Life Crisis
Now that 2017 has arrived, we all feel a little anxious about what we still haven't accomplished - but believe we "should." So this week, we sort out the struggles of the common quarter-life crisis. Why do we experience these growing pains at this particular age? How can you find out what fulfills you and turn it into your career? We also share Ingrid's prescription for having a good day, the dilemma of loving your job but needing more purpose, and a letter from a listener who feels guilty for abandoning her 12-year dream. As evolving creatures, we'll inevitably want to stir up the status quo and start a new journey - even if the path or the ultimate destination isn't clear. How will you say goodbye to the life you know and move forward to find what's meaningful to you?
Episode 39: Living in Post-Election Limbo
Now that we've had some time to digest the results of the election, we dig into our experiences through the aftermath. As Hillary supporters, how are we dealing with Trump fans? What have been the benefits of this outcome? We also explain why we're glad this burst our bubbles, how you can be more active about issues that worry you, and how to politely confront relatives about their dismissive political comments. Regardless of the results, we're all human beings with different ideas of the truth. So instead of labelling each other as good or evil, we need to recognize and respect that everyone has a right to their own beliefs. What will you do to keep an open mind and listen to the hearts of others in all political parties?
P.S. Thank you to Texture for supporting this episode of Ladies Who Lunch! Go to Texture.com/LWL for your free 14-day trial.
Episode 38: How to Survive Family Time During the Holidays
The holidays are fast approaching, which can be exciting - but also incredibly stressful. So this week, we help you define your own holiday joy. How can you prevent holiday loneliness? What should you do when family conflict arises? We also reveal a game plan for surviving the parties from beginning to end, suggest ways to create your own holiday traditions, and share advice to a listener who dreads family gatherings because of a past traumatic event. Tis the season to celebrate, but don't let the expectations of others to ruin it. What will you do to enjoy your own holiday cheer?
Episode 37: Losing the Fear of Losing Your Virginity
This week, we break into some common problems about virginity. How will you know when you're ready? What are the consequences you should consider before losing your virginity? How can you get over sex anxiety? We also explain whether or not you should practice with a vibrator, and how to talk to your partner about having your first sexual experience. No matter how your sex ed class defined virginity - as a gift, a stigma, a rite of passage, or a natural thing - it's yours to own, and you can do whatever you darn well please with it. Will you choose to ditch the fears and let virginity empower you?
Episode 36: Figuring Out Family Dynamics
This week, special guest Meg DeAngelis joins our exploration through the impact of family in personal growth. What's the difference between being an only child, sharing families, and having a twin? Why are we more likely to fight with parents instead of friends? What are the perks of living alone? We also discuss how we survived past roommates, why Cat actually wants her sister to move to LA, and how to protect yourself from your concern for toxic family members. We can't control who ends up in our family tree - but we can control our expectations of them. Through the ups, the downs, the hugs, the tears - how will you let your family relationships affect your individuality?
Episode 35: Fetishes & Fantasies
In this week's episode, we strip down the conversation around sexual fantasies and fetishes. How should you talk to your partner about your fantasy? Why is it considered weird if a woman joins the "locker room talk"? Would we ever try group sex? We also reveal what scenarios turn us on, what sexual device every lady should carry around, and whether or not it's wrong to shame the kink. Sharing your fetishes or fantasies can be awkward and uncomfortable. But once the idea is out in the open, just have fun with it. Will you lift the taboo and seek out your sexual desires?
Episode 34: Unveiling the Mask of Makeup
This week, we peel off the layers of issues surrounding makeup. Does makeup undermine feminism? Why do - or don't - people use makeup? At what point does your self-worth rely too much on your beauty routine? We also debate why wearing makeup in the workplace can be a lose-lose situation, why Cat had a makeup-free meetup, and how to stop seeking validation for your appearance. Whether you use makeup as a creative outlet, a way to have "me time," or as a confidence booster, it should always be your choice. How do you define your own beauty?
Episode 33: Attacking Your Anxiety
This week, we dive into the deep, dark pool of anxiety. What are some common anxiety symptoms? How can you calm yourself during panic attacks? How do you find an anxiety treatment that works for you? We also explore the effects of therapy and medication, explain why sometimes it's best to give up, and help a listener whose anxiety is affecting her personality. Battling your anxiety seems like a daunting task, but avoidance will only make it worse. Will you take the baby steps to stop living in fear?
Episode 32: No Shame in Sex Drives
Episode 26: Period Problems
This week, we explore one of our favorite topics - periods! As a bonus, Cora founder Molly Hayward joins us to help answer some menstruation mysteries. How is your poop affected during this time of the month? What is the one period color that you should worry about? How can your period make sex more exciting? We also share our most horrifying period stories and guide a listener through tampon 101. Nowadays, there's a huge variety of products to suit all types of comfort levels. But there's still a ton of progress we can make, both nationally and globally. How will you open up the conversation and help erase the taboo?
P.S. Thank you to HelloFresh for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Go to HelloFresh.com and use the code lwl to get $35 off first week of deliveries.
Episode 25: Protection Against Toxic People
This week, we explore the different tools to handling toxic people. What are the red flags of a toxic person? Should you confront them about the situation or just let it go? We also discuss getting involved in a friend's toxic relationship, depersonalizing someone's projected negativity, and protecting yourself from a loved one who is constantly unstable and unsupportive. There are plenty of ways to deal with these types of people, whether it's by establishing boundaries or killing them with kindness. What will you do to stop their poison from seeping into your life?
P.S. Thank you to Glossier for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Get 20% off your first purchase at glossier.com by using the promo code lwl.